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Invade the United States

I sincerely that this request wholeheartedly. Some of us here in the States, we need your help. We want the invasion of the United States. We have nut jobs in this country, and they are actually elected to office.

Now I know what they think: “But you Hoser have their own chaos here, we do not want anything to do with you.” And you are right, but we have a few things to you, here are eight reasons why you have to conquer:

1st Hockey. I know, ask how the U.S. can give Hockey Canada? Most NHL teams are in the U.S. and trustworthy, not exactly treated as they deserve to be treated, are considered second-class sport for most Americans. Ask the average American, won the Stanley Cup and looks at you blankly. You can use all our hockey teams and the children the love they deserve, in addition to all the players are Canadians.

2nd The expansion il limited Tim Horton’s. See if you not noticed that Americans have a weight problem, we are fat. I am a Hot Dog Eating, drinking a smoothie and injecting the veins with butter as I write this. We all know that Timmy coffee and donuts are much better than our beloved Dunkin ‘Donuts here so that Timmy has no trouble finding customers.

3rd Billions of dollars in health care. We pay more per capita on health care that you, but more than 50 million of us have not even insured. You know what that means? You can use the private sector and the health care industry in conjunction with the national health and takes billions of dollars more than the left. Everything you need is to consolidate the chaos we call on the private health insurance, and here you are swimming in cash, equal to the insurance companies are private.

4th Republican daughters. You need only look at our Republican daughters. The Bush girls were drunk every chance they get, since they were teenagers. We know that the daughter of Palin has no problem with pre-marital sex. John McCain’s wife was ready to have a romance with him, while still married. These women are the best of both worlds, Ms. freaks in public and behind closed doors. You can use these girls to parent at home after a wild ride.

5th Blot restaurant. If you saw the diversity, or its absence at the Republican convention you will know that a restaurant called “The White Spot” is very popular here in the United States.

6th Pistols. I know that Canada has some tight rules in relation to firearms, but does not have it here. You can shoot someone in the face and not suffer the consequences, ask our current Vice President. So for those of you who like to throw things, we will be down.

7th Comedy. Hilarious, we have this station here that is low comedy, the whole time. No, no Comedy Central, Fox News says, and it is very funny. What are the objectives of fair and balanced when it is really nothing, but it’s really funny.

8th Canadian Bacon. Once again, our fat is our weakness. Simply cut in the shape of a pistol or a naked woman and never stopped, the bacon industry.

Thus, eight reasons why you need to limit and conquer us. Please help us. You are at about half the country welcomes with open arms. Thanks to our invasion of Iraq you should have no problem with a country to invade another sovereign state, Russia has already exercised this option.

I have my Canadian flag ready!

Comments

  1. ellis
    December 30th, 2008 | 12:54 am

    that was so hard to read that I quit after three paragraphs.

  2. Lee
    April 2nd, 2009 | 7:04 pm

    What is the nationality of the nut that wrote that? It surely wasn’t a Canadian or an American!!!! Impossible to decipher.

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