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Sex in a bathtub full of cereals

I don’t understand how somebody can even think of this (if it’s true):
I am looking for a kindred spirit that enjoys, sex, baths, and cereal. So why not try them all at the same time? Now, be warned… I have some very specific stipulations for this fantasy of mine:

1) The cereal must have less than 2 grams of protein per serving. That’s right, the pure sugar stuff kids eat to get roofed like junkies on speed. These can include:

Fruity Pebbles
Count Chocula
Cookie Crisp
Cocoa Pebbles
Cocoa Puffs
Golden Crisps
Honey Smacks
Cap’n Crunch’s Peanut Butter Crunch
Cap’n Crunch
Apple Jacks
Froot Loops
Corn Pops

If you have other suggestions I am more than happy to entertain them.